Stan's Journey Begins
We
got a call in mid October that Stan had been taken to the hospital and would not be able to return to his home to live alone. His housekeeper had gone into his place to find him on the
floor. He was dehydrated and had a urinary tract infection. We flew to
Niagara Falls, with Kathy, to clean out his apartment and move him out here to
be near us. Mike and Gail met us there, and we all worked together to
clean out his apartment. By the time we got there, he was in a rehab center, but his memory was very poor. We saw his friends, Andrea and George, who faithfully
visited him in the hospital. We also got over to see Joe, who is
still living alone in his house. We sent some of Stan’s things back here and
gave away most of them to the church and other charities. We stayed in the
falls for 10 days, with Walter and Sharon, Bill's cousin and his wife. They were lifesavers, offering their home and
hospitality.
November 7
We arrived at 10:00 on Nov 3 after a LOOOONG flight. Stan did well,
but got really tired and confused. We shared a delicious roast beef
sandwich, potato chips and an oatmeal-raisin cookie on the flight and tried to
doze. When we got here, it had been
snowing so the ground was all white.
Kathy and Rommie picked us up at the airport, and we took him over to
the Renown Skilled Nursing facility. Our Lady of Peace is a palace
compared to the Renown. We reluctantly left him there, but immediately started
working on getting him out. It took two days for them to remember to take
him a pitcher of water, so we gave him some bottles of water. His view, out of
the window without a lock and a screen that had been bent by someone trying to
pry it off, was of the back of an apartment building with chain link fence
around it. He had a roommate and about 60 square feet of living space.
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| His First Night In Sparks At Our Ho |
Confusion about the situation kept him feeling disoriented and it only confused him more when we took him back to the nursing facility that evening.
November 8
Finally, on Tuesday, Stan moved into Cascades of the Sierra, (275 Neighborhood Way, Sparks, NV 894410.) I've taken photos to send to Mike, Walter and Sharon and Norm and Vera. He has settled in well - still thinks he will be going home soon. We have set pictures from his apartment everywhere we can, even in the bathroom. He has a large windowsill and we were able to put Scott’s family there, along with his friends, Andrea and George.
Finally, on Tuesday, Stan moved into Cascades of the Sierra, (275 Neighborhood Way, Sparks, NV 894410.) I've taken photos to send to Mike, Walter and Sharon and Norm and Vera. He has settled in well - still thinks he will be going home soon. We have set pictures from his apartment everywhere we can, even in the bathroom. He has a large windowsill and we were able to put Scott’s family there, along with his friends, Andrea and George.
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| Main Lobby |
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| Sitting Room |
November 10
Thursday evening Kathy and her girls, Bry and Bailey visited Dad. He made them laugh and they both liked him right away. He asked both of them how old they were more than once and they both patiently answered him every time. Last evening he didn't remember the visit, and he got a little upset that his memory is so bad. We keep reassuring him that his memory is much better than it was a few days ago, and that the better he gets physically, the better his memory will get. The doctor we took him to see on Tuesday said that, because his memory loss has a physical cause, he will almost certainly, recover most of his ability to remember short term. Of course, he will never be able to drive again, but he might be able to get out of memory care and into assisted living. Our ultimate goal is to have him live with us. But it will take some time, to be sure. For now, he is safe, comfortable and relatively happy.
Thursday evening Kathy and her girls, Bry and Bailey visited Dad. He made them laugh and they both liked him right away. He asked both of them how old they were more than once and they both patiently answered him every time. Last evening he didn't remember the visit, and he got a little upset that his memory is so bad. We keep reassuring him that his memory is much better than it was a few days ago, and that the better he gets physically, the better his memory will get. The doctor we took him to see on Tuesday said that, because his memory loss has a physical cause, he will almost certainly, recover most of his ability to remember short term. Of course, he will never be able to drive again, but he might be able to get out of memory care and into assisted living. Our ultimate goal is to have him live with us. But it will take some time, to be sure. For now, he is safe, comfortable and relatively happy.
November 11
We got there at 4:00 on Veteran's Day and just got home from our visit. He did well, and we had dinner with him again. The people are absolutely wonderful to all the residents and visitors. We feel very at home there, and Dad is liking it, although he is still confused about the changes. When we got there, he was in one of the sitting rooms with some of the other residents, watching an old war movie, so we didn't disturb him. We went into his room, and found that he had emptied the drawers and neatly packed everything into his duffel bag. We reloaded the drawers, and took the duffel bag out to the car. He didn't even mention it when he came in.
We
asked him about the beautiful plant on his dresser and he said that Mike and
Gail had sent it. We took some pictures
so everyone can see how well he is doing.
We got there at 4:00 on Veteran's Day and just got home from our visit. He did well, and we had dinner with him again. The people are absolutely wonderful to all the residents and visitors. We feel very at home there, and Dad is liking it, although he is still confused about the changes. When we got there, he was in one of the sitting rooms with some of the other residents, watching an old war movie, so we didn't disturb him. We went into his room, and found that he had emptied the drawers and neatly packed everything into his duffel bag. We reloaded the drawers, and took the duffel bag out to the car. He didn't even mention it when he came in.
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| New Plant |
He
is walking alone, with only a cane. We bought him a walker on Monday, but
he prefers not to use it. For dinner, we took him to a different dining
room, which is in the independent living area, and he walked all the way there
and back. It's wonderful to see that he
is enjoying his meals so much.
November 12
Good day today, except he was madder than hell when we got there this afternoon, because he couldn't find his billfold. He thought someone had taken it. It was next to him on his night stand. He laughed about it and said he must be losing it.
Good day today, except he was madder than hell when we got there this afternoon, because he couldn't find his billfold. He thought someone had taken it. It was next to him on his night stand. He laughed about it and said he must be losing it.
November 16
Stan went to town in the Cascades van to have his blood work done. He said he had a nice time talking to the van driver. Meanwhile, we worked long hours Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to try to get all the assignments done so we could have some off time on the weekend. We still managed to visit Dad every day. Over the weekend, we bought a full bed with wooden headboard, dresser, nightstand, TV, and a very nice Lazy-Boy recliner. We delivered the chair and TV on Sunday, with the help of Kathy and Rommie and Bailey. Stan keeps asking why we're doing so much for him, and we keep reminding him that it's because we love him.
Stan went to town in the Cascades van to have his blood work done. He said he had a nice time talking to the van driver. Meanwhile, we worked long hours Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to try to get all the assignments done so we could have some off time on the weekend. We still managed to visit Dad every day. Over the weekend, we bought a full bed with wooden headboard, dresser, nightstand, TV, and a very nice Lazy-Boy recliner. We delivered the chair and TV on Sunday, with the help of Kathy and Rommie and Bailey. Stan keeps asking why we're doing so much for him, and we keep reminding him that it's because we love him.
November 18
We planned to take Stan over to visit Kathy, Rommie, Bryanna and Bailey on Friday, but when we arrived at Cascades, our plans totally changed. We fixed him a cup of coffee before going into The Lodge, but when we walked in, we found out that everyone had gone upstairs to the Great Room for High Tea. Erica invited us to join, so we went up to see that Dad was sitting at a table with Jess, Marge and Laurie who had only been living there for five days. He had pushed Marge down in her wheelchair, always the chivalrous man. Tea consisted of tuna on pita wedges, fantastic scones and banana bread, with, of course, pots of tea. It was delightful , and most of the residents had a lovely time conversing and laughing. We had the best table, with eight of us sitting at a table for four, because all of the people were similar to Stan in that they can talk and know what they are talking about.
We planned to take Stan over to visit Kathy, Rommie, Bryanna and Bailey on Friday, but when we arrived at Cascades, our plans totally changed. We fixed him a cup of coffee before going into The Lodge, but when we walked in, we found out that everyone had gone upstairs to the Great Room for High Tea. Erica invited us to join, so we went up to see that Dad was sitting at a table with Jess, Marge and Laurie who had only been living there for five days. He had pushed Marge down in her wheelchair, always the chivalrous man. Tea consisted of tuna on pita wedges, fantastic scones and banana bread, with, of course, pots of tea. It was delightful , and most of the residents had a lovely time conversing and laughing. We had the best table, with eight of us sitting at a table for four, because all of the people were similar to Stan in that they can talk and know what they are talking about.
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| "Use Your Noodle" |
Dinner was served a few minutes later,
and I took him to his table to sit with Marge and Jess and his next-door
neighbor, Rosemary. Dinner was salad,
baked chicken, new potatoes, and roasted mixed vegetables. We didn't stay for dinner, but we stood
nearby for a little while talking with some other family members who were
there.
November 19
On Saturday, we picked Stan up around 7:45 and drove to the John Ascuaga's Nugget for breakfast. He and Peg used to call it John's, and he still calls it that. Bill valet parked, but it was still a very long walk to Rosie's Cafe. Stan and Bill both ordered biscuits and gravy, and they enjoyed it just as much as they
On Saturday, we picked Stan up around 7:45 and drove to the John Ascuaga's Nugget for breakfast. He and Peg used to call it John's, and he still calls it that. Bill valet parked, but it was still a very long walk to Rosie's Cafe. Stan and Bill both ordered biscuits and gravy, and they enjoyed it just as much as they
did
in the old days.
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| Ready For Biscuits and Gravy |
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| They Were Full |
After we took him home, we went
shopping for t-shirts, and we decided to stop at a new antique store to look at
furniture. We found the perfect thing,
an old army desk, for his new computer.
We also found a chair that fits with the desk. We took the desk and computer over but the
chair needs to be tightened, so we kept that at our house. Kathy and Bailey met us there and we took
Stan for a walk to see the pool and some of the other gathering spots. Kathy left after two hours but Bailey stayed
and we had dinner with him. It was prime
rib, salmon, twice-baked potato and vegetables with trifle for dessert. We left at 6:15 and Bailey spent the night at
our house.
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| Dinner at Winchesters |
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| Thanksgiving |
At Cascades, they always have a holiday dinner on the Sunday before the holiday, so we made reservations to join Stan, yet again, for dinner. Our time was 2:30, so it was actually a combination lunch/dinner. Unfortunately, when we got there, we found out that he had been given lunch so he wasn't hungry. Before going to the dining room, we went to one of the salons for a sing-along. There was a couple leading the group; the husband played the accordion and sang, and his wife danced around and got the residents involved with the music. When we went to dinner, he managed to eat a little bit of mashed potatoes, gravy, a deviled egg, and, of course, a piece of chocolate mousse cake. He always seems to have room for dessert.
After the meal, we went back to Stan's
room but we only stayed for a few minutes.
He played a game of solitaire and one of Peggle Nights, so we knew the
new mouse worked.
He said he will enjoy having some games
to play. When we left, we encouraged him
to go out to the living room to sit with Wayne and watch a football game on the
large screen TV, but he was a little reluctant.
We will ask tomorrow if he did go out there. He stood and watched us walk down the hall
all the way to the end, and when we turned to wave at him, he waved back.
The phone finally got hooked up, but
the wires are crossed, because it has the wrong number. We're working on that. His furniture will be delivered on Monday,
Nov 28. His new desk chair arrived on
Tuesday. We sat in the great room with
Lori and talked after going outside for a few minutes. We didn't stay out long, because, even though
the sun was shining brightly and there was no wind, it was a little too
cold. The Christmas tree was delivered,
but the branches needed to be fluffed out, so Bill and I took care of that,
while Stan and Lori supervised.
November 28
Thanksgiving Day, we visited, as usual,
but we didn't stay for dinner. We had
already celebrated Thanksgiving with Stan and we wanted to be home before
dark. The day after Thanksgiving we all
went to The Brown's for breakfast.
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| Bailey and Bryanna Entertain With the Wii |
Rommie and Kathy made biscuits and
gravy, bacon, ham, scrambled eggs and potatoes.
We all enjoyed it very much. After breakfast, Bryanna and Bailey
entertained us with some Wii dancing. We
took Stan home around 11 and stayed for a little while.
Saturday, we arrived later in the
afternoon, because they had worked that day.
Billie started a load of laundry, which had been sitting in the laundry
room for two days. When the wash was
done, she put it in the dryer and let Pam, one of the caregivers, know it was
there. The laundry was finished and
returned to Stan that evening.
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| He Likes Having a Phone Again |
Kathy dropped me off at Cascades to
visit for a while around 2:30 and I stayed for almost an hour. Stan was delighted to tell the story of the
phone call.
November 30
We spent three hours at the VA trying
to cut through the red tape, and get Stan some financial benefits. He is entitled to them for his service during
WWII, but they want us to jump through hoops to get them. We are going to have to take Stan to the VA
offices so they can talk to him. They
won't accept the Power of Attorney.
The furniture arrived on Monday. Kathy went over to help with the arranging,
because Bill had to see his oncologist about leg pain. He also had to go to the hospital for an
ultra-sound. Everything looks good, but
the pain is still there, so we will have to pursue that.
Stan likes the furniture a lot. He was surprised by how nice everything
is. We went over after Bill's
ultra-sound and we made the bed, and added a few more decorations. Mom’s picture has a
place of honor on his desk. The room looks great and he is happy with it.
On Wednesday, we spent the morning, and
had lunch with Stan, because we had discovered that the shipping legs hadn't
been removed when the furniture was delivered, and the repairman was supposed
to be there between 10 and 12. He finally
got there at 1:30. He also fixed the
screw in the bed frame that had been stripped by the delivery people.
While
we were there, we took Stan to
the assisted living models, so he could see what the apartments were
like. His memory is getting better every day. We can tell by the
things he says and asks,
that he is remembering things we talked about or things that happened
just a
day or two in the past. He loves the
studio apartment, and wants to move there, now.
We have told him several times, that he can't move there until the
doctor gives the okay.
Stan's Journey - December
December 1
We couldn't visit today, Thursday,
because we had to see the San Francisco doctor.
He said Bill is doing great and his next infusion will be Dec 22. Bill called Stan in the morning to talk,
then, Stan called while we were in San Francisco because he forgot he had
talked to Bill, already. By the time we
got home, we just wanted to do nothing.
December 2
We had a nice visit. We took the first month of "Stan's
Journey" over for him. He read a
little bit of it while we were there, and he looked at all the photos. He asked us some questions as he read it, so
we are confident that it is going to do the trick of helping Stan recover more
of his memory.
December 7
On Monday, Julia, one of
Stan’s
caregivers, saw us as we went in the door of the Lodge and she asked me
if I
would help with a Christmas project. I
told her I would, but I wanted to get Stan to join in. So, we went to
his room
and dragged him down to one of the living rooms, where they do the
crafts. They were making Christmas stockings. I helped some of the
ladies with theirs, and
tried to get Stan to make one, but he wouldn’t do it. He sat and
watched while chatting with Bill. At least he was there instead of
sitting in
his room. Julia also told me that they
are planning a party, with all the residents opening one present from
their
family. They are going to have it on the
22nd. That will be the day we
have to go to San Francisco for Bill’s treatment, so we will try to get back in
time to go.
We finally got the paperwork turned to
the VA for benefits. We don't know if they will be granted, but after all
the waiting in line, and driving around getting things signed, we are glad the
paperwork is done. They had told us that we HAD to take him in so they
could talk to him, but when we went there today to turn in the papers, we found
out that we don't need to do that, so we are very relieved. He wouldn't
have done well sitting there for two hours waiting to see someone. At
least we like to read and they had a coffee bar where we could refill our cups.
Stan has been grumpy the past few
days. He is firm about certain things
that just aren’t true, and there is no changing his mind. Sometimes one of us will say
something, and he immediately starts to argue about it. When he moved in,
I put his flag pin and a cross pin on his curtains and a few days ago I added a
little Christmas tree and an angel. He insists that there were nine pins
on his curtains and that the women who live there stole five of them. He is certainly
being a challenge.
Stan
likes to keep his door open so he doesn’t feel isolated. Some of the women wander into his room and he
has to ask them to leave. Vivienne is
especially annoying. She walks in and
picks up his bears, or one of the things on his window sill. He has to ask her not to handle his
things. He tried to guide her out by her
arm a few of days ago, and she got really mad.
When we were there on Monday, she came in three times and I told her it
wasn’t her room. She just looked at me
like I was crazy. Finally I said, “He
doesn’t want you in his room. Please get
out of here.” She growled and swore, but
she left. For the past two days, she
glares at us whenever she sees us, so maybe she remembers that encounter and
will keep out. Physically, he is feeling well, except for getting tired easily.
We
took him to Winchester’s for lunch on Tuesday, before Bill’s CAT scan. We like
to get him out of the Lodge. He told us again that watching the people who
drool, miss their mouths with the fork, and sleep at the table in the Lodge
dining room is depressing. We saw Karen,
the nurse, who told us that he may be able to move to assisted living soon,
based on his improvement.
Dec
8
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| Serving the "Old People" |
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| Bill Got Into the Act |
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| Full of Ice Cream |
Dec 9
We took Stan to see Dr. Ganchan, the cardiologist who he used to see when he lived in Sparks before, this morning. He remembered the doctor and said he was glad he would be seeing him. He is the one who was Peg's heart doctor, too. Stan was pronounced to be “thriving.” Then we went out to Denny’s for lunch. He had biscuits and gravy and an over-easy egg. He said he thoroughly enjoyed his lunch.
Dec
11
As
soon as we walked into Stan’s room this afternoon, he said, “I got a
package.” He showed us a pair of wooden shoes and a
note from Mike, saying that he found them in his attic. All the
caregivers had heard about them, and
some of them came in to see them while we were there. They all thought
they were wonderful. We took Stan to dinner at Winchester’s. He always
eats a good amount of food there,
but not so much in the Lodge. He asked a
few times when he is going to be going over to his new place.
Dec
12
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| Puzzled |
Dr.
Miller arrived just as Stan was finishing his dinner. We went into Stan’s room, and talked to him
for about 40 minutes. We liked him
instantly. He listens well, and explains
things, so we didn’t feel as if we were being talked down to. Basically, he said Stan can move into
assisted living right away! There are
concerns about his memory, but he isn’t the kind of person who wanders or who
does anything inappropriate, such as wandering around the halls late at night,
so we aren’t worried about him going outside or doing anything that would hurt
him. He seems a little apprehensive, but
he wants to do it, so we are going to talk to the staff tomorrow about getting
his furniture moved into his new apartment.
We think he is going to be very happy there. He says he is especially fed up with Vivienne
wandering into his room and taking his things, and we told him that he won’t
have to put up with that any more. He
will be able to lock his door.
Dec
13
The
first graders from Bailey’s school came to Cascades to sing Christmas carols
today. A few sixth graders were chosen
to help and Bailey was one of them. We
helped take several of the Lodge residents to the performance and most of them
enjoyed it. Stan insisted on giving up
his chair to a lady with an adorable little girl, so she could sit down. After the performance, we took everyone back,
and left to go to work. Stan said he had
a good time. He helped, as he always
does, by pushing one of the ladies in a wheelchair.
Dec
15
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| Living Room |
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| And a Separate Bedroom |
Dec
18
Bill
started feeling sick while eating lunch with Stan on Thursday, and when we got
home, he want right to bed. He has been
really down with a major headache and nausea, so I went shopping for Stan
yesterday, taking him all kinds of goodies, from new towels for the bathroom
and kitchen, to ice cream, yogurt, pudding and other goodies for his
refrigerator. I got a magnified shaving
mirror to attach to the bathroom mirror, club soda, a bath rug, and some more
puzzle books. Of course, he needed
silverware and a few dishes, too, so he can eat the snacks. I also got three big mugs, so when we visit,
we won’t have to have our coffee in paper cups. I asked him to make a list of
other foods, like crackers, cookies, and cereal, which he would like to have. I didn’t stay long, because I didn’t want to
leave Bill alone any longer than necessary.
When I left, Stan walked with me as far as the dining room, and as I
walked around the corner towards the door, he was going in for lunch.
Dec 20
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| Chilling With Miele |
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| At the Brown's |
We didn't make any suggestions about taking
him back because we were enjoying having him here. But he started to get
tired, looked at his watch and said, "It's about time for me to go home,
isn't it?" On the way, he thanked us for a nice lunch, and said he
had a good time shopping. We left him at his room, with plans to rest in
front of the TV before dinner. It was such a normal day, and we enjoyed
it immensely.
December 24 – Christmas Eve
Stan had two visitors today – Gary and
Bobbie Oneto. We got a call from Mary at Cascades at about 11 am, to let us
know that some people were there to see Stan.
She wanted to know if it was alright.
Bill wanted to know who they were, and we didn’t recognize the names. He asked her to let Stan see them, but not to
let them be alone in his room with him.
She agreed. They went to lunch,
and Mary called again, to tell us that they said they were friends of Mike and
Gail. They even called Mike and had her
talk to him. But, we were still a bit
suspicious, because anyone could have said he was Mike on the phone, so Bill
called Mike, who assured him that Gary and Bobbie were really friends, and it
was okay that they were there. We were
glad he had some company. Unfortunately,
when we asked him about his visitors the next day, he vehemently denied that
they were there. We told him the whole story, and he still said he didn’t
remember them being there, although he did remember them from when Mike and
Gail lived here. We are going to ask anyone who visits to take pictures of them
with Stan, and send them to us, so we can add them to his journal.
December 25
Christmas morning, and it was quite a
cold one. When we got to Cascades to
pick Stan up it was 9 degrees. We got
over to Kathy and Rommie’s at 8:00 and Rommie had breakfast almost ready. He had made bacon, eggs, and biscuits and
gravy, and we took three monkey breads over, so everyone had plenty to eat. After breakfast, we opened presents, and we
had lots of fun. Stan got several new
shirts and some pictures to hang in his room.
Kathy and Rommie gave him a neat bath rug with memory foam, so it feels
really good to stand on and it looks very nice in his bathroom.
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| All of us except Rommie, who was taking the photo |
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| Just the Guys |
We stayed until almost noon. When we took Stan back, he said he’d had a
wonderful time. The temperature had gone
up to 35, so it wasn’t as cold on the trip back as it had been on the way over,
but it was still plenty cold. We went to
Stan’s apartment and stayed for a few minutes.
We had plans to go to Rommie’s mom’s house for dinner, but we didn’t
want to take Stan with us because we thought it would be a little too much for
him. He went to dinner that evening and
ate with some of the people he always sees there.
Dec
27
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| The Girls Signed the Visitor Log |
We
got to Stan’s apartment around 10:30 am and found that he had already removed
the Christmas decorations. He had also finished the puzzle so we told him we
will look for a new one. We had brought a few things to put on the windowsill
and the shelf outside his door.
We
mentioned that we were going to drive out to Gold Ranch to check our lottery
ticket. Stan wanted to go for a ride, so
we took him along.
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| At Mimi's Diner |
We
drove over to RC Willey’s after lunch to look for a love seat, because we are
getting tired of sitting on the bed or floor when we visit. We didn’t find
anything he liked. We took him home at
about 4:00 and he said he would have time for a rest before dinner.
December
29
We
didn’t visit today, because we had to take the Prius in to the dealer for some
work. While we were south of town, we
looked for the love seat, and found a really nice one at the Lazy Boy store
that was on clearance. It will be
delivered on Saturday morning, so we will go over first thing to be there when
it arrives.
Dec
30
We
should have taken a picture, but we didn’t think of it until later. We
went
over this morning on the way to work, just to give Stan a pedicure. His
toenails were like iron. He enjoyed the whole thing, especially when I
gave him a nice, long foot rub.
Dec
31
We
went over early to have breakfast and to wait for Stan’s new loveseat to be
delivered. After breakfast, we talked
and worked on the latest puzzle. We also
found that the Christmas cookies that I had made and taken over were sitting
untouched in the pantry. We took them
out, and told him that he needs to eat them soon, or they will be stale. He had three while we were there, so I think
they will be gone in a couple of days.
The
puzzle proved to be more challenging than we had expected. But we got most of the border in place, so
the rest will keep him busy for a while.
I
showed him how to wake the computer up, again, because he said he doesn’t know
how to use it. I hope he will start
being more adventurous and opening things, like the computer and the pantry
doors.
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| His New Loveseat |
Stan's Journey - January
January 1
We all hope
this will be a better year than 2011.
Stan is safely here, which is something we have been asking him to do
for more than five years. It’s just too
bad he got so sick before we were able to get him here, but he is so much
better than he was just two months ago, so we are optimistic that he will
continue to improve.
We
spent so
much time with Stan yesterday that we were going to take the day off
today, but
he called this morning and asked for some Aramis. We know he has an
almost-full bottle, but we
have been keeping his extras here, so we decided that we could run over
for a little while We were really looking forward to a nice
relaxing afternoon, so we didn’t stay long. Both of us are in the middle
of
really good books.
We have left
his Christmas cards up on the wall, because he likes looking at them. He has called Mike and Gail, and Norm and
Vera a couple of times, and they have called him, but he usually forgets to
tell us. He wrote a letter to Andrea a couple of weeks ago, and it has been
sitting on his table ever since. He
wrote it on lined paper, and it is a bit messy, so he plans to rewrite it, but
he just keeps forgetting to do it. We
remind him, and suggest he do it while we’re there, but he doesn’t want to
spend time writing while we’re with him.
We bought him some note cards but I think they are too small for him to
be able to write in.
He was
feeling tired and had a little bit of an upset stomach but he said he ate a
good breakfast and he was just taking it easy today.
We told him
that we are going to take him out to dinner with Kathy and Rommie and the girls
for Kathy’s birthday tomorrow. Kathy
said that they will pick him up and take him home.
January 2
The Browns
picked Stan up at a little before 5:00.
He had forgotten we were taking him to dinner, even though Bill called
him after noon to remind him. Luckily,
he hadn’t gone to dinner, yet. We went to
Red Robin. Stan had a Patty Melt. He ate half of it, and took the other half
home. We had a good time, but I think
there has been a little too much partying for him over the last couple of
weeks, so we are going to lay low for a while.
January 10
 |
| Kathy's Birthday At Red Robin |
I haven’t written for a while, but
we have just been busy. We have been
over to see Stan almost every day, sometimes staying for a couple of hours, but
often only for a few minutes. Stan got
frustrated with the new puzzle and put it back in the box. We
all had tried to find all the border pieces, and we know they should have been
there, because we bought it new, but we just couldn’t find them. We bought him a new puzzle, but, before we
opened it, a package arrived from Mike and Gail with three puzzles and three
models.
 |
| Let There Be Light |
We finally found him a lamp for his bedroom. We've been looking everywhere, and we had stopped by one of the few antique stores left in town, and there it was. It isn't that old, but we liked the Western theme.
Bill went
over to see Stan on the Friday and Saturday while I was working at Costco, and
he stayed for a long time both days. I
got off early enough on Sunday to go with him, so we left here at 3:30. Stan told us that he had skipped lunch, and
we hadn’t had lunch either, so we asked him if he was in the mood for a
pizza. He said he hadn’t had pizza for a
long time, so we went to Manny and Olga’s, which we had wanted to try for a
long time. It was delicious. We watched
the Denver Broncos beat the Pittsburgh and it was a very exciting game. It ended in a tie, so it went into overtime,
with Tim Tebow throwing an 80 yard pass for the win in the first 11 seconds. We had a really good time, and we all went
home stuffed.
January 11
We went over to visit early, because
we didn’t have to work today. We found
that Stan had put several of the border pieces out, but he said it was as
frustrating as the last puzzle, so the three of us did the whole border while
we were there. He enjoyed having us
there to help instead of working on it alone.
We went to lunch, and he got a chocolate milk shake for the first
time. When he was almost finished, he
said that he doesn’t usually get full at lunch, but today he did, after drinking
the milkshake, a cup of coffee, a half ham sandwich and a dish of fruit.
January 18
 |
| Not Fun |
 |
| Long Needed Haircut |
After the
blood test, we went to Carrow’s for breakfast.
Stan had a waffle, and said it was very good. When we took him home, he went to have a
haircut upstairs. We left him there, and
went home, because I had to work in the afternoon.
We didn’t get over to see him on Tuesday because we had a lot of work to
get done. Wednesday we visited, and Bill
went over on Saturday and Sunday, because I had to work at Costco. They took a
walk through Cascades but didn’t go out,
January 25
It
was blood test day again so after Bill’s dermatologist visit, we picked
Stan up and took him to the doctor. We didn’t have as long a wait in
the doctor’s
waiting room this time, so we were out of there in less than 30 minutes.
His
Coumadin level was at 2.7, which is perfect, so he will stay on the dose
they
changed him to last week. We were glad
we didn’t have to go to there on Monday, because it snowed all day, and
driving
wouldn’t have been any fun. When we took
Stan home, we all used hand sanitizer before going in, because Eric, at
the front desk, had told us
that they were battling some germs due to a few people having flu.
 |
| Yuck! |
He said he hadn’t gone to breakfast or lunch
and we reiterated that he has to eat something, even if he doesn’t feel like
going to the restaurant. I got a Pina Colada smoothie out of the refrigerator,
and opened a bag of sun chips for a snack. Above is what he thought of the smoothie.
January 26
We
talked to Uncle Norm and Aunt Vera yesterday. They said they had just
been talking to Stan,
who mentioned that his dinner had just been delivered. We thought that
sounded strange so we called
him and found out that Cascades is on lock down due to a non-virus
outbreak. So, it turns out that the staff is going
around with menus for the next day so people won’t be exposed to germs,
and
they are doing a cleaning blitz throughout Cascades. They said they are
trying to avoid a quarantine. This will last until Saturday, unless
something changes.
January 29
The lock down has continued past Saturday, and now they say it will
probably go through Tuesday. Bill has
been going over to visit Stan while I’m at work at Costco and they’ve been
going out to lunch. It isn’t easy to be
isolated in his apartment all day, so, at least that gets him out for a few
hours.
Yesterday, Saturday, they were on the way back to Cascades after lunch
when Stan asked where they were going.
Bill told him he was taking him home.
He started asking lots of questions, “Why are we going this way?”(It was
the only way to get there) “Why aren’t you taking me to my house?” “When did I
move to Reno?” (He knows the difference between Sparks, Spanish Springs and
Reno and they were in Sparks, heading towards Spanish Springs) and “What
happened to my furniture?” It was almost
as bad as when we first brought him here.
Bill said that when he saw Cascades in he distance, he asked, “Is that
where we’re going?” So, at least, he recognized the building. He was better when
they got inside, remembering where his apartment was. We hope that taking him out so often isn’t
causing too much confusion.
January 30
 |
| Skyping With Norm |
Just
to be different, we took Taco Bell over to Stan’s today and we went
up to one of the hospitality rooms for lunch.
He said he hadn’t had a taco in a long time, and he enjoyed it. Then we
Skyped with Norm and Vera. At first, Stan didn’t say much; we think it
was because it was so unfamiliar. But,
after a few minutes, he talked with both of them. While we were in the
room, Gwen, from The
Lodge, and her daughter came in to say hi.
Gwen threw her arms wide, and ran over to give Stan a kiss and hug,
while Vera and Norm watched. We told
them that she is just one of the many ladies who think he is just the
greatest
thing since sliced bread. As far as we
know, Gwen is the only one who gives him kisses. We gave them a little
video tour of Cascades
on the way back to Stan’s apartment, and then a tour of the apartment. I
took a
picture of Stan and Norm together.
Stan's Journey - February
February 5
 |
| Supervising |
Bill has been going over to see
Stan, because I was doing my vacuum demos at Costco. Last weekend, I sold 15 and was rewarded with
a $50.00 American Express gift card.
Bill and Stan went to breakfast at Jack’s Coffee Shop yesterday after getting
his car washed. They had – what else –
biscuits and gravy. Stan took two
biscuits and a container of gravy home for later. We weren’t sure if he’d remember to eat them,
though.
 |
| Demonstration |
After breakfast Bill
brought Stan over to Costco and he watched a couple of demos. He even tried out the vacuum for me so I
could send his photo in with my report.
The restaurants and public areas remained closed through
Saturday at 4:00 pm, but they did open the restaurants for dinner and sent a
letter out on Saturday morning to everyone to let them know.
Unfortunately, Stan didn’t understand, so he
didn’t go to dinner last night. He was
waiting for them to bring it, and when they didn’t, he heated up the gravy and
had that with the biscuits for dinner.
He doesn’t remember doing that, but they are gone, so we figure that’s
what happened. This morning, they didn’t
bring breakfast, so he had frosted flakes.
He has half a container of milk left, so we will pick some up for him
tomorrow.
 |
| Gail, Seth, Mike, Tracy |
We Skyped with Mike and Gail, Seth and Tracy. We were going to do it with Norm and Vera, too, but Bill called before we went
over and found out that they wouldn’t be home.
We’ll try again later.
February 6
We couldn’t stay long because I had to work, but we had a
nice visit. We took Stan to the dining
room for lunch, but we didn’t eat with him.
We just visited while he ate to make sure he had a good lunch. After lunch we took him to the workout room
to check his weight. He is down to 146
and ½ , which is about a four pound loss since December.
February 8
We didn’t go to see Stan yesterday because it snowed and we
stayed home. The lock down is almost
over. The dining rooms are open, but
they are still serving only the specials, so he sometimes doesn’t like either
choice. Once they have determined that
there have been no new outbreaks of flu, they will be back to normal. I asked about a reduction in his rate for the
time he wasn’t able to eat, but it didn’t sound too promising. I said that if they are bringing things that
he doesn’t or can’t eat, and we have to take him out, or bring meals in, he
shouldn’t have to pay for those meals. They
said that it’s his choice to eat or not.
On Monday, we went to Walmart and bought candy, cookies, snacks and ice
cream because he was starting to run low on goodies.
We also did something that we aren’t going to mention just
yet. We went to Bonaventure, a different
assisted living community. It is a
little smaller than Cascades, but it is also highly rated, and we found it to
be very inviting. He would have a
one-bedroom apartment, with the bathroom right next to the bedroom, instead of
around the corner near the front door.
The menu is similar to Cascades, with multiple choices for each
meal. The biggest two advantages is that
it is a little closer to our house, and the cost is about $1,500 per month
less. We are going to take him there for
dinner on Friday and we’ll introduce the idea to him. We are also going to be at Cascades from 2 pm
to 8 pm, or until Dr. Miller gets there, so we can talk to him about Stan’s
dizziness and about how he might react to being moved again.
He liked all the snacks we took over. He ate two different cookies, a Butterfinger
and some Whoppers. He said we’re trying
to make him fat, and we agreed.
 |
| Skyping In His Favorite Jacket |
Feb 13
When we got to Bonaventure, we had a tour, and showed Stan
the one-bedroom apartment. He liked it a
lot, and seemed agreeable to being there.
We had a delicious dinner at Bonaventure with interesting company. There were two ladies, Betty and Louise,
sitting at a table when we arrived, and Shelley took us over to that
table. Stan usually tries not to sit
with people he doesn’t know, but when I sat down next to Betty, he sat next to
me. We had a pleasant conversation, and
Shelley joined us after we were finished with dinner, and starting dessert,
which was a delicious Apple Crisp Cake.
We took him home, and talked a little about why we were thinking of moving him. He was very interested in saving money. The next morning, he called Bill and told him that he wasn’t going to move. He said he has too many friends at Cascades and doesn’t want to leave them. He actually doesn’t have any friends because he won’t go out and join in any of the activities.
We took him home, and talked a little about why we were thinking of moving him. He was very interested in saving money. The next morning, he called Bill and told him that he wasn’t going to move. He said he has too many friends at Cascades and doesn’t want to leave them. He actually doesn’t have any friends because he won’t go out and join in any of the activities.
Feb 14
Yesterday, we visited with Stan from 1:30 until about 5:30,
so we were there when Dr. Miller arrived.
While Bill was out of the room, talking with Dr. Miller, I talked to
Stan about Bonaventure. I explained all
about it, and he said, “Well, when are we going to make the move?” I was surprised, after his refusal the day
before, and I mentioned that he hadn’t been too keen on the idea. He said that he appreciates all the time we
spend with him, and he wants to do what we think is best. I told him that we still need to give it a
lot of thought. When Bill came back in,
we discussed the move, and the doctor doesn’t think it would be detrimental to
him.
The doctor said to get over-the-counter eye drops for Stan’s
red eye problem, and said that if that doesn’t work, he will give us a
prescription for them. He also said that
he should drink at least one quart of water every day, eat three meals and
snacks every day, and exercise four days a week. We arranged for the exercise program, took
him out to buy eye drops, and bought him a large pitcher so he can keep track
of the water.
When we got back to his apartment, we had him use the eye
drops and I left them on his bathroom counter, right in front of his
glass. This morning, we had to work all
day, so we couldn’t go over. Bill called
and asked if he had remembered to use his eye drops and he said he didn’t know
anything about it. So, we zipped up
there, and had him put the drops in his eyes, and took them to the wellness
center so they will be able to make sure he uses them.
Feb 17
 |
| Too Much Breakfast |
Feb 19
 |
| Certificate |
I was looking through
one of our old photo albums when I came across a certificate that I didn’t
remember seeing before. We never knew
that Stan was a member of the Skyrider Club of America. I looked it up on the
Internet but it wasn’t there, but, since the certificate was from 1935, that
isn’t too surprising. We are going to
ask him about it when we visit later today.
Well, I have forgotten to ask him about the certificate, but I’ll do it
soon.
We got Stan a huge clock for his bathroom, because he said
that when he is getting dressed in the morning, he wants to know what time it
is. He was surprised by how big it is, and he was pleased with it.
Feb 20
We have been discussing moving him to Bonaventure every time
we see him, just a little bit, to get him used to the idea. I sent a letter giving 60 days’ notice of
intent to move to the management.
Bonaventure was going to buy out the 60 days and move him over at no
cost, so we had planned to make the move the first of March. Surprise, surprise! Susan called us and asked if we would see her
last Thursday, so we went in a little early and met with her. She started out by saying how much everyone
there loves Stan, and that they would miss him terribly. Then she asked what it would take to make us
want to leave him there. Bill said that
he would be saving $1,500 per month at Bonaventure, and that we were reluctant
to move him, because Cascades is so wonderful, but that is quite a lot of money
that can go toward his future expenses.
She said she would talk to Dave, the executive director, and find out
what could be done.
Feb 23
We had to go to San Francisco yesterday for the oncologist
visit, so we didn’t go over to visit Stan.
Bill spoke to him after we got home, and he remembered what he had for
lunch and dinner, so we were glad about that.
Feb 27
Finally, things are back to normal at Cascades. The cloth napkins are back, along with the
tablecloths, and they are serving meals on plates instead of in Styrofoam
containers. They are also back to using
the menus, so there are more than one or two choices at each meal.
 |
| This Is a Hard One |
Before dinner we met with Susan again, and they offered to cut his
medical management from $800.00 per month to $400.00 and his rent would go down
to $3,500.00. The only problem is that
Dave isn’t willing to cut the rent on his room, because it is in such a good
location for someone who needs extra help from the staff, so they want to move
him to a one-bedroom apartment upstairs.
We took him up to see it, and he was just a little confused, wondering
where his furniture would go, and when he opened the closet, he asked where his
clothes were.
The new apartment has a slider with a little balcony, so we can get him some artificial plants to put out there to make it look homier. Also, there is a real wall between the living room and bedroom. He is a little worried about going to the bathroom during the night, but the bathroom is in exactly the same place, except he will have to go through a real doorway to get there. So, we are going to move him, probably Tuesday. They will do everything, except get his clothes, so we will go over, move his clothes and take him out to lunch. When he gets back, he will go to the new apartment. Really, the only difference is that he will go to the Wellness Center around the corner from his apartment and go downstairs for meals. As it was, he was going up to the Wellness Center and around the corner to get to the restaurants for meals, so it won’t be a drastic change. Stan said he has to be there when they move his things, because he is worried that they will break or lose something, so we are going to go over for the move.
The new apartment has a slider with a little balcony, so we can get him some artificial plants to put out there to make it look homier. Also, there is a real wall between the living room and bedroom. He is a little worried about going to the bathroom during the night, but the bathroom is in exactly the same place, except he will have to go through a real doorway to get there. So, we are going to move him, probably Tuesday. They will do everything, except get his clothes, so we will go over, move his clothes and take him out to lunch. When he gets back, he will go to the new apartment. Really, the only difference is that he will go to the Wellness Center around the corner from his apartment and go downstairs for meals. As it was, he was going up to the Wellness Center and around the corner to get to the restaurants for meals, so it won’t be a drastic change. Stan said he has to be there when they move his things, because he is worried that they will break or lose something, so we are going to go over for the move.
His eyes are starting to look red again, so Bill asked about
his eye drops. They said the drops are
gone, so they are going to contact Dr. Miller to get an order for more.
Feb 29
We didn’t plan to visit
Stan yesterday, but he called while we were working, and asked what time he was
moving. Bill told him that he wasn’t moving until March 1. He said
that he had taken his bed covers off and put most of his nick-knacks away, so
when we were finished with the job we were doing, we went over to make his bed
for him. We told him again, that he won’t be moving for two days.
This morning, Bill called
him, because the weather was bad, and we didn’t want to drive out there.
He took his bed apart again. This time, we decided that he can probably
get his sheets back on by himself. We haven’t signed any papers, yet, for
the reduced rent, so we think we will do that tomorrow. I got another new
part-time job, and I think I will be able to start training tomorrow, so we
will take the computer with us, and Stan can Skype with Norm and Vera, and with
Mike and Gail. After that, I can do some on-line work, and Bill can visit
with him, while we wait for the move to be complete.
We just got the mail and
found that the package from Mike had arrived with several old souvenir
photos. We’re sure they will bring back
some good memories when we take them over tomorrow.
Stan's Journey - March
March 1
The
move went great!
By the time we got there, around 1:15, Stan had almost everything in the
room packed in boxes, the hamper, and his drawers. He helped us take
several loads of things,
and to put everything away in his new apartment. He decided how he
wanted the furniture. He got really tired, but he refused to sit
down and let us do everything. We had
him rest for an hour after the move, and then Kathy got there to see his
new
place. She only stayed for a little
while, but she left Bailey there, and the four of us went out to Bully’s
for
dinner. Stan had fish and chips, and
enjoyed it a lot. After dinner, we took
him home, and we went to Bryanna’s school to watch her play her first
team
volleyball game. They won one game and
lost two, but the games were really exciting.
March 2
Bill forgot to call the phone company last week to arrange
for his phone to be moved, so he called this morning. We were just leaving to go visit, when Stan
called and told Bill that his phone wasn’t working. Bill explained why, and told him that we
would be there in a little while. We
stayed for an hour, but I had a job to do, so we couldn’t stay any longer. On Sunday, we are going to take the computer
so he can Skype Mike and Norm, if we remember this time. We had planned to take it three times in the
past several days, but we kept forgetting it.
March 5
We Skyped Mike and Gail last Sunday, and gave them a tour of
Dad’s apartment. It was a beautiful,
warm day, and he had his slider open to the lanai when we got there. We took him to Dr. Miller’s office to have
his blood checked. His Coumadin level
was too low again, so they are going to increase it to 3 from 2.5. They also
followed up on his eye drops, which we have been complaining about for over a
week, ever since they finished up the drops we bought him at Walgreens.
March 8
Today, we stopped at Taco Bell and took lunch over and we
had the door open again. The temperature
was only about 45, but the way his room faces makes it possible to have it open
as long as the sun in the right position.
 |
| The New Digs |
We
went to the mattress store yesterday and exchanged his
mattress and box springs for better quality ones. His mattress had been
sagging in the middle
and we were worried that it might be affecting is back. They delivered
the set today. There is a ten-year warranty, so they should
be perfect for him.
The Wellness Center
finally got an order for prescription eye drops, with an anti-biotic, which
they are going to use for seven days.
The doctor is going to check him on Monday, and will probably prescribe
something less potent if the drops have reduced the swelling and itching. We will need to take him back for a blood
check next Tuesday, two days before we leave on our trip.
March 13
 |
| This Was a Hard One! |
March 15
The day before we left, we took two small bottles of milk
for his cereal and some string cheese.
He still had a good supply of cereal, chips, cookies, candy, Boost and
ice cream. Before we left, we promised
to call him often while we’re gone.
Kathy and Rommie and the girls will visit him and will let us know how
he is doing. Bill called him from the
airport in Reno and from Minneapolis. He
also called twice on the weekend, and every day for the next week. Tony and Anais surprised us with a trip to
New York City and we were on the go from the crack of dawn until late
evening. We had a wonderful time, but we
worried about Stan.
March 19
Stan had a long tiring morning. Rommie picked him up at about 8:00 am, and
took him to the VA for blood work. They
went to breakfast, and went back to the VA for his doctor’s appointment at
1:00. Rommie was going to take him to
lunch, but he was exhausted, so Rommie took him home. Bill called him in the afternoon to find out
how it went, and Stan said he had a good time with Rommie, but he was out too
long and hadn’t even wanted any lunch when he got home. Bill encouraged him to go to dinner, but, of
course, we couldn’t be sure he really went.
 |
| Keeping In Touch |
Bill called him almost every day. Stan seemed to be fine, but said he was
lonely. Bill told him that he could go
out to the different activities, but Stan never wants to do that. So, apparently, he mostly sat in his room and
watched TV while we were gone. He talked
to Mike a couple of times, and he saw Kathy several times.
March 31
 |
| Reminder |
On Thursday and Friday, we had to work from 7 am until 6 pm
because we had 15 jobs that had to be completed by March 30. Today is Saturday, the jobs are done, and we
are going to go over to see Stan for a long visit. We hate to have him think we are neglecting
him.
It was a windy, rainy and snowy day so we didn’t want to
take Stan out. We visited for a little
over two hours and had some good conversations. He said several times that he missed us so
much, and that he couldn’t believe that we were only gone for two weeks. I took
a photo of Stan with his latest completed puzzle.
 |
| Another Work Of Art |
His blinds, which we had asked to have repaired or replaced,
had still not been taken care of, so we all walked to the front desk to talk to
Eric, taking two of the broken slats with us.
He sent one of the maintenance men up, and he made some adjustments, so
the slats are up, but we still want the blinds to be replaced, because some of
the hardware is broken.
He said his socks have been disappearing. Maybe they are getting lost when Anna does
his wash. We will go to Walmart to get him some new socks and puzzles. We seem
to have bought all the 300 piece puzzles in town, so we’re going to have to
start searching the Internet for more.
He refuses to even try 500 piece ones, saying they are too frustrating.
We walked Stan to lunch as we left, promising that we will
be back tomorrow as long as the weather cooperates. If not, we’ll visit as soon as we can.
Stan's Journey - April
April 1
 |
| Easter Flowers |
We didn’t make it over to see Stan yesterday. I think jet lag caught up with us, and we
were exhausted. We stayed in our jammies
until almost noon. In the afternoon we
went to the pool for our exercise and then we spent the rest of the day reading
and watching TV.
April 2
We got over to Cascades at 10:00 and stayed until almost
lunch time. We had a good visit, talking
more about our trip to Virginia and New York.
We took him his new socks and two new puzzles. He was relieved to see that we got 300 piece
puzzles. We made reservations for us,
and Rommie and Kathy and the girls to be with him for Easter brunch. We took a bunch of daffodils in a little
glass vase, which we put on the shelf outside of his door. He seemed happy to
have them. We weighed him and found that
he has lost nine pounds since we last weighed him, sometime in late February,
we think. We have filled his refrigerator
and cabinets with snacks and we don’t know how to get him to eat more. I talked to one of the servers in the dining
room and asked if they would give him a milkshake every day at lunch and at
dinner, and she said she would arrange it.
April 4
When we arrived, Stan was still in Remington’s but he had
finished his lunch. He had waited for
his friend, Selma, to finish her lunch.
We sat with them until she was done, and ready to go back to his
apartment. I asked him if he has had any
milkshakes in the past couple of days, and he said he hasn’t, so I went in to
talk to the head of food services. I
explained the problem, and she said she would make sure that he gets the
shakes. Of course, that’s what the other
girl told me on Sunday, so we’ll have to wait and see if it really happens.
We told him that we will be coming over for Easter Brunch,
and we asked if he would like to invite Selma to join us. He said he will talk to her about it
tonight. We think he might forget to ask
her, so I called and talked
to Eileen at the front desk. I explained
the situation, and she said she will let the people in the dining room know
that she is going to join us. When we went back to
Stan’s apartment,we worked on his puzzle with him. Although he said it is hard,
and frustrating, he has assembled more than half of it by himself since Monday.
When he left, he walked us to the door as he usually
does. I wish we could spend more time
with him, but we have other things that we need to do, such as keeping the
house clean, shopping, exercising and work.
April 9
We all converged upon
Stan for Easter brunch. Bill and I got
there at 9:30 so we had time to talk a bit before the kids arrived. He had decided that he didn’t like the newest
puzzle because it had too many similar colors.
It was a nice scene but he thought it was too hard. He had already put it back in the box.
 |
| Bill, Selma and Stan |
The kids got to his place at 10:30 and came in for a while
before going down to Winchesters. When
we got to the restaurant, Stan’s friend, Selma, had already been seated at the
head of a table for eight. She looked
pretty, and we think she was happy that she had been included in our family
brunch. She confirmed that she doesn’t
have any family or friends here, so it was nice that she wasn’t alone for
Easter. The food was presented
beautifully, and everything was delicious.
Stan had a waffle with banana pecan syrup and bacon. The rest of us loaded up with ham, garlic
mashed potatoes, Waldorf salad, cole-slaw, deviled eggs, bacon, omelets,
pastries, and other things I can’t even remember.
 |
| All Of Us |
After brunch, Bill, Bailey and I took Selma back to her
apartment, while Stan, Kathy, Bryanna and Rommie walked back to Stan’s
apartment with him. We visited for a few
more minutes, but we had to leave to do a couple of jobs, and Kathy wanted to
get started on yard work because the weather was so good. We told Stan we would be back as soon as we
could, but we wanted to warn him that we had a really heavy work load for this
week, so we wouldn’t have very much time to be with him.
 |
| Almost Finished |
On Monday and Tuesday, we worked from 7:00 am, until a little
after 3:00 pm, and then I had two hours of reports to do, so we didn’t get back
over to see Stan until Wednesday. We
took him his Aramis, which we had picked up at Macy’s while doing a job, and we
had bought five puzzles that we are sure he would like. He thinks all of them will be fun, and not too
hard. We stayed with him for three
hours, just talking and we had a really nice afternoon.
April 13
Thursday,
Bill had to go over to St. Mary’s to have some
pre-admission work done for his ear surgery next week. Friday we drove
to Elko, all the way across
to the other side of Nevada to do five jobs, then back to Winnemucca,
which is
about halfway across, to do one more. We
spent the night at a hotel in Winnemucca.
My company had made reservations at a motel for us, but when we got
there, we didn’t like it. There was a
junk car in the parking lot, and I needed Internet service so I could
send in
my reports. I called my company and told
them that I wasn’t comfortable with the motel they had picked, and said
that I
wanted to find something else. He
agreed, so we went to Winner’s, the biggest place in town. It was a
casino-hotel, and we got a suite, so
we had plenty of room. I worked on my reports, which were all short, so
it only
took about a half hour to do them. Then
we left the room and took a walk around a few blocks near the hotel.
There was nothing much to see. When we got back to the hotel, we had
dinner,
and two free drinks at the bar, each, and then we went up to the room.
The next day, we drove on to Fallon, Fernley,
and then back to Sparks. Bill called
Stan from Winnemucca, just to let him know we were thinking about him.
April 14
We got home late Saturday afternoon. Bill called Stan to let him know we were
home, and that we would be over on Sunday.
April 24
We missed several days visiting because of Bill’s
surgery. The doctor is making a shelf
over the un-ear, for his glasses to sit on. Bill is recovering well from the
first of three surgeries, but he needs to rest a lot. We went to see Stan the day after surgery but
I went upstairs to his apartment and brought him down to visit, so Bill
wouldn’t have to walk as far. We stayed
for almost an hour, until Bill was starting to feel very uncomfortable.
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| Making Sure All Is Well |
Over
the weekend, I had to work, so we didn’t
go over, so we went today. Stan was very worried about the surgery, and
he was relieved when I called him to let him know that Bill was doing
fine. He wanted to see the incision as soon as we walked in the door.
On
April 17, Uncle Denis died of liver cancer. We had just visited them a
few weeks ago, and we knew he wasn't well, but it was still a shock.
Tony has taken over all the arrangements for
Aunt Laura. Kathy and I are going to fly
back there on April 24 (tomorrow) for the wake and funeral. We’ll have a
few extra days, so Kathy will be
able to see a little bit of Washington DC and Virginia.
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| He Had Just a Little Help |
While we were at the apartment, I worked on the Statue of
Liberty puzzle for a few minutes. Pretty
soon Bill had joined me. After a few
minutes I said that we should stop or we would finish it ourselves, and Stan
laughed and said that would be okay.Checking out the staples in Bill’s
neck
He let us know that the Wellness Center nurse hasn’t started
putting the salve on his eyes, yet, even though we took it over on Friday. We knew that Dr. Miller’s med-tech had
written the order that day, so Bill went over to the Wellness Center to find
out the problem. It turned out that she
had written an order for eye drops instead of eye salve, so the tube had just
been sitting on the cabinet waiting for orders.
Bill got it straightened out, and they should start the drops tonight.
While Bill was gone, Stan and I talked about Denis and
Laura. Laura has been telling Tony and Anais stories about what happened in
London where she grew up. I told him
that Tony had met Colleen and Patrick and he liked them both very much. It’s too bad the cousins were all spread out
over the country because our kids missed out on getting to know each other when
they were young. Why did we not keep in touch? I guess Bill and I were so
busy raising the kids, and keeping up with everyday life, that we let
family fall by the wayside. Tony knew Joey and
Walter from having been to the Falls for a visit when he was a teen.
Scott got to know Marg and Joe and Walter's family because he lived in
Detroit for a few years, and he drove over to the Falls on weekends.
Kathy had met Denis and Laura, and all our kids had met Norma and
Pat, Norm and Vera and Joe and Marg but they had only seen them a few
times. Family is so important and we all
missed knowing each other. We also
talked about World War 2. He was just
getting into talking about England during the war, when Bill came back
from the
Wellness Center and Stan wanted to know what happened. i hope we can
get into a good conversation about the past, soon.
April 30
I got home from the trip on Sunday night. Yesterday, we had to work, so we went to see
Stan in the afternoon. He was interested
in hearing about Patrick, Maureen and Pat. I
told him that we had so much fun getting to know each other. I didn’t
get to meet Colleen because
she had to leave before Kathy and I got there. I even had a chance to
talk on Maureen's phone with Aunt Norma. She sounded just the same as I
remembered from years ago. The
funeral was very moving. Denis was
buried at Quantico and he had an honor guard.
We worked on Stan’s puzzle for a few minutes, because he
said it is too frustrating. The problem
is, he tells us he is bored; that he doesn’t like to watch TV. He likes puzzles, but doesn’t like them if
they are too hard. We’re down to 300
piece ones, and they aren’t hard at all, but he doesn’t have the patience to
work on them for very long. He doesn’t
like to read either. We have gotten him several puzzle books, and he likes to
work on some of the types of puzzles, but he rarely picks up the books and does
any of them. He won’t go to any of the
activities that Cascades has to offer because it’s all a bunch of “old people.” We don’t know what to do to help his boredom
if he won’t do anything to help himself.
Just before we left, we found out that Stan’s friend, Selma, was going to be moving, but we didn’t know when. I asked Pam, at the Wellness Center, and she said it was happening right then. I told her that we didn’t want Selma to just disappear. I thought Stan should have the chance to say goodbye to her. Bill and Stan had already walked down the stairs, so I called them back up, while Pam went to get Selma. They came up, and Pam came back saying that Selma asked that Stan go to her room, because she was having some oxygen and couldn’t get up from her chair. So, we went to see her. We talked for a few minutes before leaving Stan with her. We could see that he was upset. It’s sad to lose a friend. She is moving because she can’t afford the cost of Cascades any longer. At least, she is going to a nice home, where she will be comfortable.
Stan's Journey - May
May 2
Stan
was still brooding over Selma leaving Cascades. He has grown to care
for her, and not having her there at mealtime is quite a disappointment.
He has always had the need to be helpful to others, and Selma had come
to depend on him for companionship, but we are sure it had gone both
ways.
We had to work on Tuesday and Wednesday, so we only stayed for a short visit on Wednesday. Tomorrow we will pick Stan up at 8:45 AM to take him to see Dy. Nyan, the VA doctor who he saw in March. She has a few questions she needs to ask. We are hopeful that his VA benefits will start soon. After the doctor's appointment, we will take him to LabCorp for some blood work that Dr. Miller ordered. After that, we can have some fun. We will go out to lunch. We'll ask him where he wants to go, but if he can't think of anything, we'll go to the Nugget for biscuits and gravy.
We had to work on Tuesday and Wednesday, so we only stayed for a short visit on Wednesday. Tomorrow we will pick Stan up at 8:45 AM to take him to see Dy. Nyan, the VA doctor who he saw in March. She has a few questions she needs to ask. We are hopeful that his VA benefits will start soon. After the doctor's appointment, we will take him to LabCorp for some blood work that Dr. Miller ordered. After that, we can have some fun. We will go out to lunch. We'll ask him where he wants to go, but if he can't think of anything, we'll go to the Nugget for biscuits and gravy.
May 4
Yesterday
started out fine. Stan was a little tired when we picked him up, but
that isn't unusual. While Bill got him settled in the car, I got him a
cup of coffee. We had gone about three miles, when he said he didn't
feel very well. He asked, "What did you put in this coffee?" I joked,
"Poison, just like always." Suddenly, he started coughing, and he
leaned forward to rest his head on the back of Bill's headrest. We were
in the middle of traffic so I couldn't stop so I put the back windows
down, but I pulled over as soon as I could. Bill opened Stan's door and
he was unresponsive for a few seconds, and then he said something to
Bill, but it was very hard to hear him. We sat there for a couple of
minutes, then got on our way, but he sat leaning forward the rest of the
way, moaning occasionally.
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| Feeling Better In the ER |
When
we got to the hospital, at 9:25, Bill got a wheelchair, and we both had
to lift him out of the car and into the chair. Bill took him in, while
I circled back around to the parking lot. We had to wait for almost an
hour to see the doctor, and he had improved a tiny bit, just enough to
notice that the doctor and one of the technicians were both pretty. The
doctor asked us and him a couple of questions, related to the way he
was feeling, and she checked his blood pressure. She said his heart
rate was 148 when it should be around 60. She said he needed to go to
the ER to get something to lower his heart rate. The technician pushed
him to the Emergency Room at 11:15, where they did multiple tests.
After an hour of receiving the medication, he was feeling and acting 75%
better, but they said they were going to keep him for "a while." He
was upset about that. Bill asked how long "a while" might be and the
doctor said it would at least be over night, but it might be up to three
days.
The
initial diagnosis was atrial fibrillation, which had caused pneumonia,
and some congestive heart failure. At 2:30, they found a bed for him in
the ICU, and he was admitted to the hospital at 3:00. We stayed with
him until 5:20, making sure he was settled, and comfortable. He can't
get out of bed without help, and the concern is that he will wake up in
the middle of the night, and try to get up, not knowing where he is. He
has leg squeezers to prevent blood clots, attached to a machine, so
that might make him realize that he can't get up. He understands what is
happening, but his memory is not doing so well, so he forgets in a few
minutes, and asks why he is there. We will go over to the hospital to
be with him as soon as we can today.
We
got to the hospital armed with a large chocolate milkshake. We didn't
think Stan would eat all of it, but we hoped to get a good portion of it
into him. We also took his journal, with the new, April pages, his
slippers, and his puzzle books. We found that they had moved him into a
room with a window, so it was more cheery. He was in good spirits, but
he told some stories that were really out there. He thinks he has been
in the hospital for at least a week. He told us about going for a walk
down to the dining room with some women. He said that he had been
talking to some of the guys from work and that Norm was waiting for a
ride. He is just as confused as he was when we first brought him to
Sparks.
He
liked the milkshake, but when we left after a few hours, he hadn't
eaten more than 1/4 of it. Kristy, the dietician and Katrina, the
social worker were there while we were and they both had lots of
questions. Kristy asked him about what kinds of foods he likes and
dislikes. She arranged for a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch because
they were going to serve chicken, and he doesn't like that. Katrina
wanted to know all about his living conditions. She asked him what shelter he lived in, before finding out that he is at Cascades. I don't think she has even heard of Cascades, so she didn't have any idea of the level of service they provide.
After
they left, lunch was served, but the sandwich was soggy, and he
wouldn't try the soup, so he had nothing for lunch except the shake.
His nurse, Barbara, asked us if we were going to be there for a while,
and we said we were just about to leave to go to work. She asked if we
could hang for 15 minutes so she could take a break, because there was
nobody else to watch him. We were shocked that she would have to ask a
patient's family to be her substitute, but we, of course, said we would
stay. We got him up for about five minutes, to walk across the room,
and when he got back into bed, he was panting and exhausted. We hooked
him back up to the oxygen, put the blood oxygen monitor on his finger,
and got him comfortable. He got very agitated, and started trying to
take the monitor off. Bill stopped him and told him he had to leave it
on. He growled, "Bill!" and kept trying to take it off. Bill held his
hand away, and after a minute, he gave up. Barbara was gone for 25
minutes. I was quite mad, but I didn't want to say anything so she
wouldn't take it out on him, but I wish there was someone I could
complain to. When she saw that he was all hooked up, she said, "Wow, you
guys got him all hooked up. He doesn't need me." I silently agreed
with her.
We
left him with her bustling around the room. The doctor was also in,
for a minute, and he said that they think he will be able to either go
to a regular room tomorrow, or maybe even go home.
May 5
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| Getting Therapy During a Little Nap |
Stan phoned Bill last night and he
was extremely agitated. He wanted to go home. They had to restrain
him in bed, because he kept getting up, and they are afraid he will fall. He
was still very bad this morning, rambling on about things that were
just nonsense. One of the techs did some digging into his files, and
found that he was getting some heart medication when he lived in New
York, but he hasn't been getting it here. We brought all his records
with us, and Dr. Miller didn't prescribe that one, but they started
giving it to him that when we were there this morning, and four hours later,
he was talking much more normally, and his heart rate was down from
fluctuating at 115 to 130 this morning to 70 to 90 this afternoon. He
still doesn't understand why he is there. He says he stopped by to give
someone something, and they wouldn't let him leave. He also thinks that
he won't be going home at all. We have high hopes for more improvement
tomorrow.
May 7
We've
spent every minute possible with Stan in the hospital because he is so
confused about everything. It's so much like when he first came out
here, but, once he got settled in his apartment and into a routine, he
did so well, that we think when he gets better and out of the hospital,
he will get back to being our Dad, again. Thanks to Aunt Vera, I cut
way back on my jobs, so I feel calmer about sitting there for most of
the day, knowing that I don't have a lot of work to make up.
It
was good to see that he was sitting up in the chair when we got there
just after breakfast. Barbara said he had eaten about half of it. We
asked him if he wanted us to get him some outside food, because we know
hospital food is less than appetizing, but he didn't have any appetite.
He was talking a little, but was very confused. He wanted to know when
he came here from the hospital in Canada. He talked about people we've
never heard of. He said he was at Norm's house in Paradise and that
Loretta was in the next room. He told us Norm was supposed to get her
our of there, because he didn't want to see her. And, he asked who had
called us. We have told him exactly how and why he ended up in the
hospital, but he just isn't retaining any information.
The
pneumonia hasn't gotten any better. He is getting inhalation therapy a
few times a day. The antibiotics were starting to harm his kidneys, so
they had to change to a different antibiotic. His coughing was also
deeper and was affecting his oxygen level so he was back on oxygen. We
stayed with him all day and reluctantly left him around 7 o'clock.
We've
been keeping the kids and Norm updated, but there is no reason to
worry, so we've told them just to hang in there and wait for the call
that he has responded to the antibiotics.
May 8
We
got to the hospital around 8 am to find that Stan had a very rough
night. They had to restrain him because he kept getting out of bed and
they didn't want him to fall. He didn't want his breakfast and he
didn't have any energy at all. He was in bed and trying to get out. We
asked to have the restraints taken off, and the nurse, Bill, said that
was okay as long as we promised not to leave him alone for even a
second. Bill is so much nicer than Barbara, so we feel more comfortable
having him take care of Stan.
He
didn't respond to us very much, which was totally unusual. We had been
the one thing that had made him perk up over the past few days. The Dr.
Durant came in and said that the pneumonia was worse, the congestive
heart failure was worse, and his kidney function was not good. They
wanted to put him on a ventilator to make his breathing better. Stan
was still coherent enough that he yelled at her, "No, let me go!" Bill
looked at her and said, "He has the last word." She had already spoken
to him about that, after he first got there, when he was only going to
be there for a couple of days. She suggested that they put him on a
bi-pap machine, which is a more aggressive way of delivering oxygen but
is not as aggressive as a ventilator. That often helps the lungs to
clear out the fluid, and it helps the heart beat more regularly. The
patient starts to feel better within two or three hours. I said he
wouldn't want that but Bill said that we could try it for a few hours
and see what happened. He hated it and tried to take the mask off, but
we persuaded him to try it out for a little while. They gave him some
Ativan to calm him down. We stayed with him until almost 8 o'clock, but
he was sleeping the whole time, which everyone agree was good for him,
since he hadn't been sleeping well the whole time he has been there.
May 9
We
were called by Dr. Durant at 5:15 this morning. She said he wasn't
doing well, and we had some decisions to make. We got there a little
before 6. On the way, we called Kathy to let her know so she could be
with us if she wanted. We also called Tony and Scott.
We
walked in to find him restrained again. He was fighting to get away,
and he was moaning. We both told the doctor he'd had enough. We said
we wanted to let him go. She agreed that they would make him
comfortable. She said it might take a while for him to pass. They took
off the bi-pap mask and the catheter which they had put in sometime
during the night. Kathy arrived at 8:30, after getting the girls off to
school. We all sat with him for most of the day.
Around
9, I asked why he was still hooked up to the monitors, oxygen, etc.
The nurse said it was our choice to discontinue those things, but that
when the air was removed, he might have some discomfort as it got harder
to breathe. She said they could give him morphine so he wouldn't feel
any pain. We said he wouldn't want to prolong the process, so the
oxygen was removed. They gave him Ativan and Morphine so he would be
comfortable.
The
morphine took a couple of hours to take effect, but once it did, he
slept like a baby for the rest of the time we were there. Kathy had to
leave before the girls got home from school and we stayed with him until
almost 6 o'clock. They hooked him back up to the heart monitor and the
oxygen monitor so they could monitor him before we left. His heart
rate was a nice 70ish and his oxygen level was between 75 and 80, which,
the doctor said was unusual because he wasn't on any oxygen, so he was
doing all the breathing by himself.
May 10
We
went home last night and had a bite to eat, watched a little TV, and
called Bill, the night nurse, three times before going to bed at 9:30.
At 12:00, we gave up trying to sleep, and got up to watch a little TV.
Finally, at 1:30, I said we should just give up and go back to the
hospital, because we weren't going to get any sleep anyway. We had just
gotten on the freeway at 2:05 am, when Bill called to tell us that he
had passed away. We went in to see him one last time, and stayed for
only a little while. We finally left and took all his things home with
us.
Mike and Gail flew out to be with us for a few days, and to help out with the Veteran's Administration details. Dad bought dinner for the eight of us at The Outback and we had a lot of laughs talking about good times with him and Mom.
Mike and Gail flew out to be with us for a few days, and to help out with the Veteran's Administration details. Dad bought dinner for the eight of us at The Outback and we had a lot of laughs talking about good times with him and Mom.
 | |
| With Uncle Joe in 2008 |
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| Mike, Peggy, Stan and Bill - about 1960 |
May 11
We
went out to Cascades today to let the staff know about us losing Stan
and to show Mike and Gail his apartment. Heidi, Molly, Leslie, Barbara
and Terri cried when we told them. Barbara was especially upset because
she is the one who had introduced him to Selma and she knew he had been
very upset about her leaving Cascades. They all loved him and said they
will have missed seeing him and that they will always remember him.
Leslie said she had been planning to visit him in the hospital next
Sunday. Mike and Gail liked his apartment. We sat on his furniture for
about a half hour and talked about him.
We
enjoyed seeing Mike and Gail, but their visit wasn't long enough. We
tentatively decided that we should have a small memorial service in
August. We will put the cremains of Peggy and Stan together in the
niche at Our Mother of Sorrows.
May 13
His
apartment was very lonely without him. We started the process of
removing his personal items and we will deal with the furniture as soon
as we can. Bill will be having his second surgery for the "shearf" on
Thursday, so we will have to work around that.
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| Grandpa, Brendan, Carson and Scott - 2008 |
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| Three Garrow Guys - August 2011 |
 | |
| Five Garrows - Bill, Billie, Stan, Sharon and Walt |
This is the obituary from the Reno Gazette Journal. We also included an obituary in the Niagara Falls Gazette.
WWII Veteran, Stanley
Garrow passed away in Veteran’s Hospital in Reno, Nevada on May 10, 2012 after
a short illness. Stan was born on August 28, 1920, in Niagara Falls, New York.
While in the US Army, he
served his country in France during WWII. In 1947, Stan married Peggy
O'Sullivan in Niagara Falls.
There, he worked for the
New York Central Railroad and the couple raised two sons. In 1961, the family
moved to the San Fernando Valley in California, where Stan owned a chain of
Texaco stations with his brother.
In 1980, Stan and Peggy
moved to Sparks, Nevada, where he was head of housekeeping at the MGM Grand
Hotel. Stan lost Peggy in 1994 and remarried in 1998, moving to Lewiston, New
York, with his second wife, who passed away in 2002. Stan moved back to Sparks
in November of 2011, where he spent his last few months living at Cascades of
the Sierra, where he was very happy.
Stan has now rejoined
Peggy at Our Mother of Sorrows Cemetery in Reno. He leaves behind a brother,
Norm (Vera,) two sons, Mike (Gail) and Bill (Billie,) six grandchildren, XX
great-grandchildren and several nieces and nephews.
August 6, 2012
The
memorial was very emotional for all of us. Two of our
friends, Susie (who knew Dad from several years ago) and Kurt (her
husband,) and longtime friends who are also like family, Monique and
Brian, were there. Bill's brother Mike and his wife, Gail and
their son and daughter-in-law, Seth and Tracy, who all live in Maine,
were there, along
with a friend of theirs who knew Dad. Four people from Cascades, where
he lived surprised us by coming by, too, and they all said they loved
him, too. The
dinner after, at our favorite Mexican restaurant, was fun and tiring.
Bill did great. Poor thing had a banana smoothie for dinner, among all
those delicious smells. He said it was a gourmet smoothie and he
thoroughly enjoyed it. We were happy that all the kids could be
together with us for the celebration of Dad's life.
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| Dad and Mom are together again |
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| Scott explains to Brendan |
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| Father Tom, Bill, Billie, Mike |
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| Bailey |
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| The crowd |
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| The family |
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| Walking by the river after the dinner |
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